As I sit here with a sick sleeping baby strapped to me, one peering at me from her swing longing to be held, and my hurricane of a 2 year old in bed it's all I can do to hold back the tears.
Today has been rough. It's one of those days when the only thing that keeps you going is a reminder of how much you love the days that aren't like this, and above all how much you love those 3 little crazies.
Mylin woke up in full on destruct-o mode. A role of toilet paper completely unraveled on the floor, all toy bins emptied from the girls' room sprawling through the hallway and into the living room, an un-willingness to pick even a single piece of it up, and last but not least utter refusal to accept a consequence of being sent to her room or to time out. Completing her refusal with total meltdown, fall to the floor, out of her mind screaming. Obviously an out of this world great time for all involved.
The Academy Award for most Best Dramatic Sequence in a Domestic setting goes to... Mylin Schaaff!!!!!!
Just incase that wasn't enough, I have a sick infant. Yeah, the one who was up screaming for hours on end the last few nights in a row and screamed for an hour without stop until I lulled her to sleep in this baby pack. Who, as I am trying to speedily make everyone public appropriate, throws up on herself, and I, three times. Two of those times being total outfit massacres. I'm really not sure why I try to make the twins match or coordinate, it always means some sort of pre-excursion outfit elimination via some sort of bodily function or disfunction if you will.
Did I mention I was trying to make it to my Mom's group by 9am?
Ok. It's still do-able, even though at this point I'm feeling like this entire day may be a wash, and perhaps my best bet would be to stay home and do as much self loathing as I can get in between children insainty. The twins are in regurgitation-free clothing, in their carseats, and it's only 8:30am. I also have my Mom's Group duties of the name tags and sign in sheets edited, printed out, and put in the diaper bag. (Which I did before any of the mini-monsters arose from their toy engulfed baby cave, bright and early this morning.) Now to just get Mylin and I around. HA-HA-HA. Why would I think this was even a possibility. My naked out of her mind toddler refuses to be clothed or act unlike something that has escaped the Lincoln Park Zoo. She doesn't want clothes on, she doesn't want her hair brushed, she doesn't want me, she doesn't want anything that has to do with me getting out the freaking door. GAH! Then the babies start crying. Oh you know, because they've been in their carseats for 45 minutes and their sister still can't handle life enough to even get a brush through her naturally dread locked wild hair!
9:30am we FINALLY make it out the door. Once I get all 3 safely across the road, holding Mylin's hand with one and 2, that's right TWO carseats in the other (the things you can do with twin mom strength), and all three buckled into the car I whip an illegal U-turn. This Mama isn't going anywhere on a day like today un-caffeinated. Thank God for the angel that I call my huzbee. He had text me earlier about coffee, so I pull up to his Starbucks, shoot him a "I'm here text," and a comforting smile, kiss, and best of all Pumpkin Spice Latte are at my window within a minute.
We did make it to my group. Only an hour late and holding back many tears, but it was nice to go. There is nothing like the reassurance of another mother. Knowing that you aren't the only one that's wanted to send your toddler elsewhere on a plane to say it nicely (don't get me wrong I love her with all my heart and all that I am) and that in feeling so you're not terrible. My Mom group ladies are amazing. Truly. I felt better, for the moment.
Why I thought today would be my day to try my luck at asking the ONLY person I've ever asked who is not a friend or family member about sitting for us, I'm still not quite sure. I should have known nothing positive was yet to come from this day. Needless to say I did ask, and was not ready for the response. "No. Noooo. You'd want me to watch a very VERY energetic toddler and two 6 month old twins. That's toooooo much. That's way to much for one person." I tried to shut it down quickly with "Ok. No problem. I thought it wouldn't hurt to try." I was choking back tears at this point, hard. She couldn't stop, though. "That's just too much for one person. Where's she (Mylin) running in the kitchen? That's too much for one person. How do you even do it? That's just a lot to handle."
OK LADY! I F'n get it! Please, if you feel this way just say "No." and leave it there. I didn't need a long monologue about how horrific my situation is. I felt as though she just confirmed to me everything I've thought to be true. People can't handle it. People can't handle twin situation. It's impossible for us to go anywhere that is sans-chittlens. We don't even want to go out all the time. I just wanted to go to my friend's baby shower and to our friends' wedding 2 weeks later. That's it. You know, they say it takes a village to raise a child. If that's the truth I can't tell you what it takes to raise twins. Studies show twins come with a greater emotional, physical, and financial stress. Divorce rate is MUCH higher in parents of multiples. Every book, class, website, anything I've seen/heard about twins stresses how not only important, but also how absolutely necessary alone time and couple alone time is for parents of multiples. Yet, how the hell can you get that when people loose their damn minds about the simple thought of watching twins, let alone a wild toddler added into the mix. I have this picture in my mind of this old broad in Michigan who after us confirming, "Yes they're twins." she walked away crazily shaking her gullet to the point I was afraid it was either going to fly off and hit someone in the face or she was going to give herself a concussion saying "No way. Twins! I wouldn't. There's no way. Never. Ugh uh!" Riggghhhtttt old bag, because obviously everyone with twins chooses it for themselves. Lik if she found out she was having twins she'd be like "Nope sorry that's unacceptable. Won't do it." Obviously, we wouldn't change it for the world, but seriously get a grip on reality. These are our kids. They arrived in the order and number that God chose for us. Period.
I realize that there are a lot of things that come along with being a mom of multiples. There truly are few people who can do what you do, and even fewer who could do it everyday. No one can completely understand your situation, unless they themselves have multiples. Which makes it extremely hard to ever make it out of the house to a childless function. This lead me to the best part of my hard day.
I made up a new word. YES. I made it up and it brought a smile to my face. :0) I am hereby declaring this is my trademark word, so don't even try to take it. Hahaha If you are not a parent of multiples, I promise this is all in good fun. I hope you are, therefore, not offended by my humor.
Twintimidation:
Twintimidate:
The act of being intimidated by the actions, care taking, or general overal being that is twins.
OR
The act of being intimidated by the abilities of a twin mom to care for, nurture, entertain, carry, birth, or any action for more than one child of the exact same age at the exact same time. Particularly of the newborn to toddler state. This can especially be shown with a quick rebuttal in which a parent of singleton variety attempts to one up or equally compare their experience with their one child.
i.e. " I know EXACTLY how you feel. It was like I was carrying twins, because I had a 10lb baby." (So you also had 4 arms, 4 legs, 2 placentas, 2 sets of amniotic fluid, and nearly 40 inches of baby inside you.)
"It's like I had twins because they were so close in age." (Don't get me wrong newborn plus any other child is no walk in the park and especially close in age. BUT we literally have to choose which baby to pick up and console when both are crying. Especially when they are to young to support their head and it is damn near impossible to pick up both at once. At my daughters' 1 month appointment I had to have a nurse console one of them after shots. I felt terrible that I could not hold and coddle both of my crying in pain newborns. It broke my heart. This is one example of a million I could give.)
"The baby eats so much and wakes up so much during the night it's like breastfeeding twins." (Well all babies wake up during the night and unless you are practically strapped to a couch that they call a "twin nursing pillow" with 2 babies hooked to your bobbs, No. No, it isn't at all like breastfeeding twins.)
Again I support all mamas. No I don't think I have it sooooo much worse than everyone else. That last bit was for my own little humor and I hope no one is hurt by it. Being a Mama is the most amazing job in the world. It is also the hardest. You are shaping another human being's life, wether it's 1 or 8 at a time. It's no walk in the park, not even a literal walk in the park is a walk in the park. We all know how long it takes and how much effort is involved just to get the kiddo(s) in the stroller to take that walk, so singleton Mamas, twin Mamas, Mamas of more babies than there are hands, you are all amazing and wonderful.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
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